There’s no horse or carriage, but if you want, we can go on a different type of hayride.
This week’s page from the Goodtime Calendar of 1963 features the work of German born glamour photographer Peter Basch, whose photography appeared in magazines like Life, Look, and Playboy. This particular model is unknown to us, but during his career Basch photographed pretty much every prominent celebrity, among them Mansfield, Bardot, Andress, Belmondo, Mastroianni, Brando, Dali, Cocteau, Monroe, et. al., and published them in numerous photography books that sold well and made his name internationally known. Some of those appear below, with cover stars Candice Bergen, TIna Louise, and Brigitte Skay.
As the end of the year grows near, the Goodtime editors seem to be running on empty with their quips. We still can’t figure out why they can get images from some of the best photographers of the day, but can’t find better quotes. Since speech is free for anyone to use as long as it’s attributed, they have access to pretty much everything that has ever been said by humans in all of history, but instead settle for the wisdom of guys like Jim Conway and Johnny Morgan. Oh well. It’s a mystery.
Sep 29: Men really understand women—some say they don’t because it’s cheaper that way.
Sep 30: A fence between makes love more keen—German Prov.
Oct 1: Women’s slacks: Cutting to get to the bottom of every figure problem.
Oct 2: Modern wife: A woman who knows her husband’s favorite dishes and the restaurants that serve them.
Oct 3: “A man never knows that a woman has any old clothes until he marries her.”—Jim Conway
Oct 4: “If it wasn’t for marriage, husbands would have to fight with strangers.”—Johnny Morgan
Oct 5: “The only time an experienced husband puts his foot down is when his wife’s finished vacuuming under it.”—Henry Morgan
What do you say we park it right here?
This week’s slate of Goodtime Weekly Calendar quips features an offering from Groucho Marx, which makes us wonder why the calendar guys didn’t borrow from him more often. Maybe it’s because he was actually funny. And that Freddie Flintstone guy appears again. The debate of whether he’s actually the cartoon character is settled. Definitely isn’t him. But we still can’t find any references to a comic or personality who borrowed the character’s name. This week’s photo is once again by the unknown photographer who called himself L.W., and it’s the last image we’ll be seeing from him until December, but a very nice one of an unidentified red-headed model who’d look right at home in the cast of Mad Men. We’re now halfway through the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963, and you can visit all those earlier pages by clicking here.
Sep 22: “Success is relative; the more success you have, the more relatives.”—Ernie Simon
Sep 23: “A woman’s yawn may be annoying, but it’s a lot less dangerous than her sigh.”—Freddie Flintstone
Sep 24: “I could never be a test pilot. I get dizzy just licking an air mail stamp.”—Groucho Marx
Sep 25: The trouble with the United Nations is like elephants making love—everything goes on at such a high level.
Sep 26: A lot of women have no respect for age—unless it’s in furniture.
Sep 27: Love, smoke, and a cough cannot be hid.”—French Prov.
Sep 28: A joyful autumn is before the leaves start to fall and the lawn no longer needs to be mowed.
A better world can start right here in this bathtub.
Above is nice photo of an unidentified model from photog L.W. for the week beginning September 15, 1963. We still have no idea who L.W. is, but as always, nice work. This shot is particularly flattering and respectful. The Goodtime Weekly editors, on the other hand, are up to their old tricks putting women down. Some weeks their collections of comments can be kind of cute, but this week’s quips see women labeled suspicious, annoying, and empty-headed. Gotta say, we find it curious the Goodtime guys are so convinced men are smarter than women, especially since men have been running the world since before the dawn of recorded history and the planet is well and truly fucked. Doesn’t really seem like the work of brilliant thinkers. Sorry to break ranks guys, but it had to be said. Also, our girlfriends like it when we agree with them. And that’s smart.
Sep 15: “Call a rose by any other name and she’ll think you’ve been cheating on her.”—Freddie Flintstone
Sep 16: If you take all that make-up off some women, you’ll find them invisible.
Sep 17: “Adam was the happiest man on Earth—he had no mother-in-law.”—Sam Cowling
Sep 18: Holding on to a man is usually harder than to get one.
Sep 19: “A sewing circle: A group of women who needle each other.”—Barry Sullivan
Sep 20: Kindergarten teacher: A woman who makes the little things count.
Sep 21: “Before falling for a pair of bright eyes make sure it isn’t the sun shining thru the back of her head.”—Henry Cooke
The chameleon has no clothes.
This page from the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 marks the week beginning forty-nine years ago today, and has an image of a very rare, wild American chameleon. You may be thinking that the photographer, credited only as L.G., photographed this one before she shifted to blend in with the background. But no—this is after she’s changed. These unusual creatures have woefully inadequate camouflage skills. Their skin only changes after a lot of exposure to the sun, and then it only turns brown. But they don’t know that. Notice the smirk? It’s because she thinks she’s totally invisible. Sad, really.
Sep 8: “It’s amazing how many things a girl can do without before she’s married.”—Henry Morgan
Sep 9: Aftermath: A retired math teacher.
Sep 10: “Women’s clothes should express what they're doing. From the looks of things, some dames don’t do much.”—Arnold Glasow
Sep 11: A lot of women are like cats. They lick themselves with their tongues.
Sep 12: “Adding machines are really trustworthy; you can count on them.”—Sam Cowling
Sep 13: He who is a fool kisses the maid when he may kiss the mistress.
Sep 14: Love can make any place agreeable—Arabian Prov.
She knows how to cultivate good feelings.
Above, the September 1 page from the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 with a photo by Ron Vogel of a petite model lounging in the garden in an unclothed state. She has two drinks because when you’re out in the hot sun you have to stay hydrated. Either that or she’s waiting for a friend. The observations this week include one from radio personality John Doremus, and another from Freddie Flintstone. We’re actually starting to think the Flintstone quotes are not actually from the television cartoon. We’ve seen the show, and we can’t imagine Fred making a quip that features the words “bonds” and “interest.” And besides, why refer to him as Freddie? He was always called Fred, as far as we know. Anyone with insight on this question, drop us a line.
Sep 1: Jaywalking: A bad habit that may give you that run-down feeling.
Sep 2: “Labor Day: When cops didn’t hide behind traffic signs, they took their chances like everyone else.”—Pat Sheridan
Sep 3: “A wolf is a guy who picks up your chick instead of your check.”—Sam Cowling
Sep 4: “A woman begins to realize her age when people comment on how young she looks.”—John Doremus
Sep 5: Ballet teacher: A guy who keeps the rest on their toes.
Sep 6: “The bonds of matrimony are not very strong unless the interest is kept up.”—Freddie Flintstone
Sep 7: “Some people can trace their families back for centuries but don’t know where their kids were last night.”—Mitch Miller.
Goodtime Inc. makes the end of summer a little more bareable.
The end of summer is always bittersweet, but the Goodtime Calendar of 1963 softens the blow with another image from the mysterious L.W., this one of a barbecuing beauty tending some hot meat. Goodtime’s weekly quips often include insights from unexpected sources. Just last week it was Fred Flintstone. This time it’s none other than Albert Einstein. His inclusion actually makes sense, since he is well known for a quote about a hot stove and a pretty girl. Well, not a quote, really. It was the abstract from a paper he wrote for the Journal of Exothermic Science and Technology in 1938. If you don’t know it, in its full, original form, it goes like this: “When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That’s relativity.” His and others’ insights below:
Aug 25: “The strangest dog is the hot dog—it always feeds the hand that bites it,”—Sam Cowling
Aug 26: Women: The sex that believes that if you charge it, it’s not spending.
Aug 27: “Unless a woman can read a guy like a book he’ll never make her best fella list.”—Henry Morgan
Aug 28: The trouble with being faithful is that you got to have a chance to prove it.
Aug 29: Women often do not understand opinions but seldom mistake acts.
Aug 30: “Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.”—Albert Einstein
Aug 31: It's forbidden fruit that’s responsible for many a bad jam.
It must be her hundredth dive.
Above, a page from the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 with an image from Burton McNeely, who when last seen a couple of months ago was working above water, but this time decided to try a new perspective with a scuba diving model. She’s obviously on her hundredth descent (for those who don’t know, tradition in the tropics is to celebrate dive number one hundred by going in naked, but how forcefully you’re encouraged to do so depends either on what you look like or how much you had to drink when the subject came up). Anyway, the results here are rather nice. Can’t wait to see dive two-hundred. The quotes this week are as usual, including a musing from that acclaimed social critic Fred Flintstone.
Aug 18: “A lie could run around the world before truth could get its pants on.”—Cordell Hull
Aug 19: Raving beauty: A girl who finishes last in a beauty contest.
Aug 20: A farmer’s sign on the field for corn-strippers: “How would you like to be stripped in public?”
Aug 21: “No matter how high you hang an awning, in summer it’s only a shade above the street.”—Sam Cowling
Aug 22: “Men pay for alimony because it’s the supporting thing to do.”—Freddie Flintstone
Aug 23: Sign in a furniture store: Best beds in town for love or money.
Aug 24: Points to ponder: If sex is really such a driving force, why is so much of it found parked?
Goodtime model has a posterior that should live on in posterity.
Above, a Goodtime Weekly Calendar page for the week beginning August 11, 1963, with a rather excellent photo that emphasizes one of the features men most like in women—the heart shape of her backside. The model is unknown, and the image is attributed to L.W., who probably should have taken full credit for his work so we’d have a clue who he is today. Well, we he may be forgotten, but his photo will not be. See all our Goodtime Weekly Calendar pages by clicking here.
Aug 11: “A lady in the sun more interesting than a man in the moon.”—Sam Cowling.
Aug 12: What the first thing a man notices about a woman depends on which way he is looking.
Aug 13: “A wolf may loose his teeth, but never his nature.—Italian Prov.
Aug 14: “If you win an argument with a woman, you lose her; if she wins, you can never get rid of her.”—Paul Gibson
Aug 15: Some wives go over their budgets carefully each week, other just go over them.
Aug 16: Going to a party with your wife is like going fishing with a game warden.
Aug 17: A strip-tease queen is one whose success depends on her attireless effort.
Come into my lair, said the spider to the fly.
The hottest days of summer bring some of the sultriest entries of the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963. This week, Ron Vogel presents an unknown model giving what we’d say is a definite come hither stare. The quips are back to where they started—with basic observations about men and women, including one from Alex Dreier. An interesting fellow, Dreier was a seven time Emmy winning newsman who earned his most lasting fame for using his Chicago newscast in 1956 the slam the city’s bigots. It cost him his job, but put him on the right side of history. His quip doesn’t hold up quite as well, but nobody’s perfect.
Aug 4: “The trouble with doing nothing is that you can’t stop and rest.”—Sam Cowling
Aug 5: “A bachelor is a guy who is crazy to marry—but realized it on time.”—Alex Dreier
Aug 6: Never argue with a woman; it’s your word against thousands of hers.
Aug 7: The tongue of a woman is their sword, and they take care not to let it rust.—Chinese Prov.
Aug 8: Men ask for permanent hair but women ask for permanent waves.
Aug 9: Joint account: a handy little device that permits your wife to beat you to the draw.
Aug 10: Bachelor’s apartment: hi-fidelity in one corner and infidelity in the other.
Modern bikini science proves no match for millions of years of female evolution.
The Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 offers up a shot for the end of July of famed glamour model June Wilkinson, who seems ready to fall out of her bikini. A couple of the week’s quips touch on the subject of that garment as well, and the interest is understandable. Bikinis had been introduced in their modern form seventeen years earlier in Europe, but it took Brigitte Bardot to make them widely known with her 1950s film appearances, Ursula Andress to truly bring them into the American mainstream with her debut in 1962’s Dr. No, and apparently Russ Meyer—the photographer behind this shot—to test their tensile limits by wrapping one around a woman who was known as "The Bosom." Of course, Meyer being Meyer, if the bikini did actually manage to hold together, you can bet he simply put it on increasingly larger models until—snap!—Houston, we seem to be experiencing structural failure, please advise. Who said science can’t be fun?
July 28: Sometimes the less you give the more you’ll see of her. Such is the case with a bikini.
July 29: No sickness makes a man sicker than to be sick during his vacation.
July 30: A headwaiter’s tip to a blonde waitress: “Take good care of the guy. He tips at toll bridges.”
July 31: “A Las Vegas dancer is a walking telephone switchboard. When she works all her lines are busy.”—Jerry Vale
August 1: Sign on a display of bikinis: “If nothing else succeeds, try next to nothing.”
August 2: “When a girl’s youth has been well spent she starts to look around for another.”—Joe Hamilton
August 3: “My uncle takes a drink now and then, just to steady himself. Sometimes he gets so steady he can’t move.”—George Gobel
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