All Good Times must come to an end.
Well, this is it. This is the last image from the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963. We’ve shared fifty-two great photos from some of the most famous glamour photographers of yesteryear. Among the subjects were Brigitte Bardot, Sophia Loren, Jayne Mansfield, June Wilkinson, Iris Bristol and many unknowns. Our only regret: we never found out who Freddie Flintstone and He-who Who-he are. This week we have another anonymous photographer and unknown model. Seems fitting.
Mar 3: “The happiest women, like the happiest nations, have no history.”—George Eliot
Mar 4: “A girl may read you like a book—still she wonders about earlier editions.”—Luke Newly
Mar 5: “Most women want to know the truth no matter how flattering it is.”—Alex Dreier
Mar 6: “When some girls use eyebrow pencils they don’t know where to draw the line.”—Freddie Flintstone
Mar 7: “Some women can’t even wear a smile without looking in the mirror to see how it fits.”—Freddie Flintstone
Mar 8: No woman marries a man for God’s sake.
Mar 9: “As a rule, he who tells no lie to a woman has no consideration for her feelings.”—He-who Who-he
Sittin’ in the morning sun, she’ll be sittin’ when the evening comes.
For the first time the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 presents us with an image that isn’t pure cheesecake. This shot of an unknown model by a photographer credited only as Mills would be right at home in a fashion magazine. Perhaps it’s fitting that she’s making a fashion statement by wearing Nehru jacket, am Indian formal garment that became popular in the West after being adopted by famous performers like Sammy Davis, Jr., the Beatles, and the Monkees. The jacket also made an appearance in the first James Bond film Dr. No, worn by the villain Julius No, and also by Sean Connery himself at one point. All that said, it also could be a chef’s jacket. We have no idea, truthfully. We just know the model looks smoking hot in it. The quips this week include two each from Freddie Flintstone and that mysterious He-who Who-he character, who we think was probably the publisher’s nephew. We have no other way to explain why his musings were ever considered worth printing. Yet we compounded the sin by transcribing his and others below. Enjoy.
Feb 3: “Worldwide fame awaits the designer of a girdle that is larger on the inside than on the outside.”—Paul Gibson
Feb 4: “The Oriental invented face-saving but it’s American beauticians who make a living out of it.”—He-who Who-he
Feb 5: “When a woman tells you she is approaching 30 she forgets to tell you from which direction,”—Freddie Flintstone
Feb 6: “Hi-fi was invented by a man listening to his wife on one side and his mother-in-law on the other.”—Tom Poston
Feb 7: They called TV a medium because much of it is not rare and certainly not well done.
Feb 8: “Rail trouble: With double beds in motels, who wants to squeeze into a sleeping car?”—He-who Who-he
Feb 9: “A man can live in a penthouse and still have a wife who makes him feel low.”—Freddie Flintstone
We’ve always preferred women who keep a little fur between their legs.
Because the end is near as regards the Goodtime Weekly Calendar (the last pages will come up in February) we’ve been looking high and low for another weekly calendar to post. We found only one. It was on Amazon, it was the calendar we already have, and it was priced at $75. Even though we scored ours for three bucks from the Denver Book Fair last time we were in the U.S., we probably shouldn’t have been surprised someone was trying to sell it for so much. Nearly every Goodtime Weekly photo we’ve posted, including shots of Brigitte Bardot and Jayne Mansfield, as well as work from photographers like Russ Meyer and Ron Vogel, have been images that have never appeared online before. The same is true of this week’s effort from Tom Kelley, who also shot the most famous Marilyn Monroe photo of all time. His model, whose identity is unknown to us, is rather provocatively posed. In fact the Pulp Intl. girlfriends said it was the most sexual pose of any of our calendar shots. She does look a bit as if she’s sitting on a Sybian. Maybe that’s why she has such a satisfied expression on her face.
Dec 1: “A woman is the only being that can skin a wolf and get a mink.”—Sam Cowling
Dec 2: “People who live in glass houses should dress in the dark.”—Freddie Flintstone.
Dec 3: “She isn’t really stupid, but the last time she went to a mind reader she didn’t have to pay.”—Jerry Lester
Dec 4: “A woman worried so much about growing old that she turned blonde overnight.”—Earl Wilson
Dec 5: “If a woman doesn’t get the one she wants to marry, heaven help the one she gets.”—Rose Franzblau
Dec 6: “When a gal marries a man to mend his ways, she usually finds out he isn’t worth a darn.”—John Doremus.
Dec 7: Girls who try to be walking encyclopedias may notice that reference books are never taken out.
She’s having a hanging party and you’re the guest of honor.
Imagine our surprise. The Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 has offered up its first fully clothed model of the year. The bad news is she’s also wearing a wicked expression and holding a rope. The model is unknown to us, but since she was photographed by filmmaker Russ Meyer, it’s possible she appeared in one of his films and we simply don’t recognize her. Anyway, lovely shot, cool jeans, great hair, scary rope. As for this week’s observations, you have to marvel at the Goodtime guys’ self confidence in using original material. And really, why not? Who needs Shakespeare? Why quote Oscar Wilde? No sir. When you can come up with the word “nutwork” all by yourself, clearly classical wit and wisdom have been outshone. And that one about how a waitress catches more passes than a football player? Sub. Lime. More quips below, but shield your eyes. This is incandescent stuff.
Nov 17: “Hard cash makes life soft.”—Freddie Flintstone
Nov 18: “Some of the prettiest girls in television sell the dullest products.”—Mae Maloo
Nov 19: Now you know why TV stations called themselves nutwork.
Nov 20: “The hardest decision for a woman to make is when to start middle age.”—Warren Hull.
Nov 21: “Overheard: ‘If my boss thinks I’m going to work 35 hours a week, he’d better look for another girl.’”—Irv Kupcinet.
Nov 22: A waitress catches more passes than a football player.
Nov 23: One world: Where America has most of the world’s automobiles and Russia has the most parking space.
Update: All we have to do is ask. A reader identified the model for us, and even pointed us toward another image, which you see below. She is a British model named Iris Bristol, and besides posing awesomely for photos she had several uncredited roles in movies and television, including a blink-and-you-miss-it bit in My Fair Lady. Thanks to Jo B. for digging up that info.
Whatever it is that girl put a spell on me.
The editors of the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 have yanked themselves back from the brink. Last week their misogyny had reached an extent that made their ruminations unpublishable, but this week, suddenly, they’re back to normal—i.e. teasing but not mean-spirited. Where did the malice come from? We have no idea. Maybe some men are so used to retaining control over every aspect of their lives that the freaky power women have to make them lose their equilibrium spawns a simmering hostility. But sexual power is really the point of life, isn’t it? We act like we’re firmly anchored, but in reality we’re emotionally designed to slip our moorings the moment the right person happens along. That’s the fun of living. Lust, fear, risk, reward, failure, sex, heartbreak, love—all pieces of the same lovely puzzle. You gotta embrace it. Insults say nothing about the group we insult, and everything about us.
Well, at least Fernand Fonssagrives understood all this. He’s the creator of the image above, as well as one we uploaded in July. Way back in the 1930s his wife Lisa gave him a camera and he began shooting photos with her as his model. He eventually became the highest paid fashion photographer in New York City, while his wife became the world’s first supermodel. The model here is not Lisa Fonssagrives—she would have been in her fifties by then. There’s no model info in the Goodtime Calendar, so we’ll probably never know who posed for this shot. But she’s certainly a beauty. The session really sucked for the bear, though. The week’s observations are below.
Nov 10: “A penny for your thoughts is still about the right price.”—Bob Hope
Nov 11: “A dark corner is where some men get bright ideas.”—Freddie Flintstone
Nov 12: Gossip: What no one claims to like but everyone enjoys.
Nov 13: Women’s intuition is the ability to read between men’s lyings.
Nov 14: “Woman’s dearest delight is to wound man’s self-conceit, though man’s dearest delight is to gratify hers.”—George Bernard Shaw
Nov 15: “Love is blind, and lovers cannot see the pretty follies that themselves commit.”—William Shakespeare
Nov 16: “A friend of mine always buys from relatives: He says, ‘It’s cheaper by the cousins.’”—Paul Fogarty
Chestnuts roasting by an open fire.
After a few weeks of uncharacteristically normal models, the guys from Goodtime Weekly get back to business as usual with a photo from Ron Vogel and model who is—there’s no other phrase—enormously endowed. Autumn is here, after all, so perhaps she symbolizes the stockpiling of food for winter, the horn of plenty filled with inexhaustible gifts, the warmth sought on cold nights. Or maybe they just liked big boobs. Anyway, we said last week we’d try a few of the Goodtime quips in the real world, and, “Ahhh!” Ahhh haaah!” was usually the reaction. Or, “That’s, um—where did you hear that?” But a few went over well. So experiment inconclusive. We’ll continue testing during the next couple of weeks, because the American expat clique has a few Halloween related social gatherings coming up. When we’re done with this experiment we will know definitively whether Goodtime Weekly humor is timeless, or should simply be forgotten.
Oct 20: “Mother-in-law: A woman who arranged a match for her daughter and then intends to referee as well.”—Pat Buttram
Oct 21: “Bar bells are sometimes easier to pick up than bar bills.”—Sam Cowling
Oct 22: “The wife of an archaeologist says, ‘The older I get the better I look to my husband.’”—Phyllis Diller
Oct 23: “A bore is a person who talks when you wish him to listen.”—Ambrose Bierce
Oct 24: Cars are not the only things that can hit and run a man down; gossipers have done worse.
Oct 25: “A perfect husband is one who can understand every word his wife isn’t saying.”—Sig Sakowicz
Oct 26: “Some wives cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go,”—Freddie Flintstone
Guess nobody told her using cosmetics sparingly gives the best results.
Russ Meyer is back with another shot for the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963, and there are immediately two points of interest here. First, Meyer found a model he liked that didn’t have double-d boobs, which is very equal opportunity of him, considering his track record. Second, the model went nuts around the eyes with her makeup. Words of advice—you know you’ve drawn a little too much arch in your eyebrows if random people keep looking at you and saying, “I’m sorry, did you just ask me something?”
Oct 6: The blue sky and golden leaves are really beautiful—even the wind whistles at them.
Oct 7: “Domestic harmony is music produced only if the husband plays second fiddle.”—Freddie Flintstone
Oct 8: “I have my wife well trained; she never opens my letters—unless they’re marked ‘personal’.”—Jack Herbert
Oct 9: An expensive wife is like a commanding officer at war. Whatever store she is in, she yells, “Charge!”
Oct 10: Yawning is a device of nature to enable husbands to open their mouths.
Oct 11: “All domestic trouble stems from two things—women and their mothers.”—Sam Cowling
Oct 12: “Today we honor Christopher Columbus—only in America could it happen!”
What do you say we park it right here?
This week’s slate of Goodtime Weekly Calendar quips features an offering from Groucho Marx, which makes us wonder why the calendar guys didn’t borrow from him more often. Maybe it’s because he was actually funny. And that Freddie Flintstone guy appears again. The debate of whether he’s actually the cartoon character is settled. Definitely isn’t him. But we still can’t find any references to a comic or personality who borrowed the character’s name. This week’s photo is once again by the unknown photographer who called himself L.W., and it’s the last image we’ll be seeing from him until December, but a very nice one of an unidentified red-headed model who’d look right at home in the cast of Mad Men. We’re now halfway through the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963, and you can visit all those earlier pages by clicking here.
Sep 22: “Success is relative; the more success you have, the more relatives.”—Ernie Simon
Sep 23: “A woman’s yawn may be annoying, but it’s a lot less dangerous than her sigh.”—Freddie Flintstone
Sep 24: “I could never be a test pilot. I get dizzy just licking an air mail stamp.”—Groucho Marx
Sep 25: The trouble with the United Nations is like elephants making love—everything goes on at such a high level.
Sep 26: A lot of women have no respect for age—unless it’s in furniture.
Sep 27: Love, smoke, and a cough cannot be hid.”—French Prov.
Sep 28: A joyful autumn is before the leaves start to fall and the lawn no longer needs to be mowed.
A better world can start right here in this bathtub.
Above is nice photo of an unidentified model from photog L.W. for the week beginning September 15, 1963. We still have no idea who L.W. is, but as always, nice work. This shot is particularly flattering and respectful. The Goodtime Weekly editors, on the other hand, are up to their old tricks putting women down. Some weeks their collections of comments can be kind of cute, but this week’s quips see women labeled suspicious, annoying, and empty-headed. Gotta say, we find it curious the Goodtime guys are so convinced men are smarter than women, especially since men have been running the world since before the dawn of recorded history and the planet is well and truly fucked. Doesn’t really seem like the work of brilliant thinkers. Sorry to break ranks guys, but it had to be said. Also, our girlfriends like it when we agree with them. And that’s smart.
Sep 15: “Call a rose by any other name and she’ll think you’ve been cheating on her.”—Freddie Flintstone
Sep 16: If you take all that make-up off some women, you’ll find them invisible.
Sep 17: “Adam was the happiest man on Earth—he had no mother-in-law.”—Sam Cowling
Sep 18: Holding on to a man is usually harder than to get one.
Sep 19: “A sewing circle: A group of women who needle each other.”—Barry Sullivan
Sep 20: Kindergarten teacher: A woman who makes the little things count.
Sep 21: “Before falling for a pair of bright eyes make sure it isn’t the sun shining thru the back of her head.”—Henry Cooke