Aww, we can’t believe how big she’s gotten.
A naked woman in a baby crib? From our 2012 perspective we think the whole idea is a bit deviant, but in 1963 presumably this photo from Bruno Bernard, aka Bernard of Hollywood, was totally innocuous, right? No, we didn’t think so either. Nude photography runs the gamut. Sometimes it depicts women as strong or even domineering, but more often it suggests that the perfect woman is pliant and childlike, so to us at least, going the extra step and putting the model in a crib is just a bit too overt for good taste. But we were not even zygotes in 1963 so we’re not trying to judge. The photo is pretty, and that’s really all we can say. The week’s quips, with observations from poet Carl Sandburg and actor Vincent Price, are below.
Dec 8: “A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.”—Carl Sandburg
Dec 9: “A lot of girls who can dish it out can’t cook it.”—Vincent Price
Dec 10: Behind every successful man there’s a woman nagging him he’s not so hot.
Dec 11: “Solo: A loud passage played by the orchestra leader’s brother-in-law.”—John Doremus
Dec 12: “Every time my mother-in-law comes to sleep at our house, I have breakfast in bed. I sleep in the kitchen.”—Bobby Ramsen
Dec 13: “The modern girl marries for keeps; she keeps on working and keeps house.”—Paul Fogarty
Dec 14: There’s no economy in going to bed early to save candles if the result is twins—Chinese Prov.
We’ve always preferred women who keep a little fur between their legs.
Because the end is near as regards the Goodtime Weekly Calendar (the last pages will come up in February) we’ve been looking high and low for another weekly calendar to post. We found only one. It was on Amazon, it was the calendar we already have, and it was priced at $75. Even though we scored ours for three bucks from the Denver Book Fair last time we were in the U.S., we probably shouldn’t have been surprised someone was trying to sell it for so much. Nearly every Goodtime Weekly photo we’ve posted, including shots of Brigitte Bardot and Jayne Mansfield, as well as work from photographers like Russ Meyer and Ron Vogel, have been images that have never appeared online before. The same is true of this week’s effort from Tom Kelley, who also shot the most famous Marilyn Monroe photo of all time. His model, whose identity is unknown to us, is rather provocatively posed. In fact the Pulp Intl. girlfriends said it was the most sexual pose of any of our calendar shots. She does look a bit as if she’s sitting on a Sybian. Maybe that’s why she has such a satisfied expression on her face.
Dec 1: “A woman is the only being that can skin a wolf and get a mink.”—Sam Cowling
Dec 2: “People who live in glass houses should dress in the dark.”—Freddie Flintstone.
Dec 3: “She isn’t really stupid, but the last time she went to a mind reader she didn’t have to pay.”—Jerry Lester
Dec 4: “A woman worried so much about growing old that she turned blonde overnight.”—Earl Wilson
Dec 5: “If a woman doesn’t get the one she wants to marry, heaven help the one she gets.”—Rose Franzblau
Dec 6: “When a gal marries a man to mend his ways, she usually finds out he isn’t worth a darn.”—John Doremus.
Dec 7: Girls who try to be walking encyclopedias may notice that reference books are never taken out.
She knows how to cultivate good feelings.
Above, the September 1 page from the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 with a photo by Ron Vogel of a petite model lounging in the garden in an unclothed state. She has two drinks because when you’re out in the hot sun you have to stay hydrated. Either that or she’s waiting for a friend. The observations this week include one from radio personality John Doremus, and another from Freddie Flintstone. We’re actually starting to think the Flintstone quotes are not actually from the television cartoon. We’ve seen the show, and we can’t imagine Fred making a quip that features the words “bonds” and “interest.” And besides, why refer to him as Freddie? He was always called Fred, as far as we know. Anyone with insight on this question, drop us a line.
Sep 1: Jaywalking: A bad habit that may give you that run-down feeling.
Sep 2: “Labor Day: When cops didn’t hide behind traffic signs, they took their chances like everyone else.”—Pat Sheridan
Sep 3: “A wolf is a guy who picks up your chick instead of your check.”—Sam Cowling
Sep 4: “A woman begins to realize her age when people comment on how young she looks.”—John Doremus
Sep 5: Ballet teacher: A guy who keeps the rest on their toes.
Sep 6: “The bonds of matrimony are not very strong unless the interest is kept up.”—Freddie Flintstone
Sep 7: “Some people can trace their families back for centuries but don’t know where their kids were last night.”—Mitch Miller.
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
1969—The Krays Are Found Guilty of Murder
In England, twins Ronald and Reginald Kray are found guilty of the murder of Jack McVitie. The Kray brothers had been notorious gangsters in London's East End, and for their crimes both were sentenced to life in prison, and both eventually died behind bars. Their story later inspired a 1990 motion picture entitled The Krays.
1975—Charlie Chaplin Is Knighted
British-born comic genius Charlie Chaplin, whose long and turbulent career in the U.S. had been brought to an abrupt end when he was branded a communist and denied a residence visa, is bestowed a knighthood at London's Buckingham Palace. Chaplin died two years later and even then peace eluded him, as his body was stolen from its grave for eleven weeks by men trying to extort money from the Chaplin family.
1959—Lou Costello Dies
American comedian Lou Costello, of the famous comedy team Abbott & Costello, dies of a heart attack at Doctors' Hospital in Beverly Hills, three days before his 53rd birthday. His career spanned radio and film, silent movies and talkies, vaudeville and cinema, and in his heyday he was, along with partner Abbott, one of the most beloved personalities in Hollywood.
1933—King Kong Opens
The first version of King Kong
, starring Bruce Cabot, Robert Armstrong and Fay Wray, and with the giant ape Kong brought to life with stop-action photography, opens at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. The film goes on to play worldwide to good reviews and huge crowds, and spawns numerous sequels and reworkings over the next eighty years.
1949—James Gallagher Completes Round-the-World Flight
Captain James Gallagher and a crew of fourteen land their B-50 Superfortress named Lucky Lady II in Fort Worth, Texas, thus completing the first non-stop around-the-world airplane flight. The entire trip from takeoff to touchdown took ninety-four hours and one minute.
1953—Oscars Are Shown on Television
The 26th Academy Awards are broadcast on television by NBC, the first time the awards have been shown on television. Audiences watch live as From Here to Eternity wins for Best Picture, and William Holden and Audrey Hepburn earn statues in the best acting categories for Stalag 17 and Roman Holiday.
It's easy. We have an uploader that makes it a snap. Use it to submit your art, text, header, and subhead. Your post can be funny, serious, or anything in between, as long as it's vintage pulp. You'll get a byline and experience the fleeting pride of free authorship. We'll edit your post for typos, but the rest is up to you. Click here
to give us your best shot.