Vintage Pulp Jul 28 2012
BUILT TO SPILL
Modern bikini science proves no match for millions of years of female evolution.

The Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963 offers up a shot for the end of July of famed glamour model June Wilkinson, who seems ready to fall out of her bikini. A couple of the week’s quips touch on the subject of that garment as well, and the interest is understandable. Bikinis had been introduced in their modern form seventeen years earlier in Europe, but it took Brigitte Bardot to make them widely known with her 1950s film appearances, Ursula Andress to truly bring them into the American mainstream with her debut in 1962’s Dr. No, and apparently Russ Meyer—the photographer behind this shot—to test their tensile limits by wrapping one around a woman who was known as "The Bosom." Of course, Meyer being Meyer, if the bikini did actually manage to hold together, you can bet he simply put it on increasingly larger models until—snap!—Houston, we seem to be experiencing structural failure, please advise. Who said science can’t be fun?

July 28: Sometimes the less you give the more you’ll see of her. Such is the case with a bikini.
 
July 29: No sickness makes a man sicker than to be sick during his vacation.
 
July 30: A headwaiter’s tip to a blonde waitress: “Take good care of the guy. He tips at toll bridges.”
 
July 31: “A Las Vegas dancer is a walking telephone switchboard. When she works all her lines are busy.”—Jerry Vale
 
August 1: Sign on a display of bikinis: “If nothing else succeeds, try next to nothing.”
 
August 2: “When a girl’s youth has been well spent she starts to look around for another.”—Joe Hamilton
 
August 3: “My uncle takes a drink now and then, just to steady himself. Sometimes he gets so steady he can’t move.”—George Gobel 
 
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Vintage Pulp Jun 23 2012
GONE FISHIN'
Exactly what type of bait did you use to land this one?

Time will tend to fade printed matter. While that hasn’t been a problem with other pages of the Goodtime Weekly Calendar of 1963, we seem to recall that we found it with this particular page facing up, which means a few subtleties of the image have been lost to forty-nine years of light, dust, and humidity. We aren’t sure exactly what the model is perched upon here. A piece of modern art? Playground equipment? The image is by Burton McNeely, who is semi-famous these days as a photographer of fish. Sounds like a real downgrade in terms of subject matter, but hey, whatever works. No matter what fish photography pays, we suspect he fondly remembers his early days photographing a completely different and more beautiful type of creature. This week’s quotations, which we have below, continue to dwell on marriage. Okay, Goodtime guys, we get it—you think it sucks. After four straight weeks, we've gotten the message. Can we move on now? 

June 23: In the wedding “We” comes before “I.”
 
June 24: “The right man can change a cute little dish into a cute little dishwasher.”—Earl Wilson
 
June 25: The ones that can separate the men from the boys are women.
 
June 26: Once you carry the bride over the threshold, she’ll put her foot down.
 
June 27: “I run my house like a ship. I’m the captain. It’s just my luck to have married an admiral.”—George Gobel
 
June 28: Marriage vows might be a trifle more accurate if changed to read, “Until DEBT do us part.”

June 29: It always pleases a married woman to discover that another man wishes she were not.

Update: Apparently, the calendar girl is sitting on the end of a boat. How could we not have seen that? It's like one of those negative space drawings where you look and go, "It's two faces in profile. No, it's a vase. No, really, it's two faces in profile." Well, we defnitely see now. It's a boat. Probably would have helped if we'd looked less at the naked girl. Thanks for spotting that D.A.

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Vintage Pulp Mar 24 2012
MY BARE LADY
The Good Times just keep on coming.

Another Saturday, another installment from the Good Time Weekly Calendar of 1963. The model above resisted all attempts at identification, and the photographer is listed as anonymous, but fret not—the daily quotations are faithfully transcribed below. This time, women are the targets of the assorted quipsters. We know this type of humor was considered good fun back then, but really, isn't it a little twisted to bash women while looking at their naked bodies for sexual gratification? Just asking. Still no clue on the He-who Who-he reference, by the way. Anyone with info please feel free to drop us a line.

March 24: “In most of our Hollywood beauty shops the gossip alone would curl your hair.”—Pat Buttram

March 25: “One picture is worth 10,000 words—but for some reason most women prefer to use 10,000 words.”—George Gobel

March 26: No one can tell her anything—she’s got sound proof ears.

March 27: “In many conversations a man can’t break in because a woman won’t break off.”’—Telly Savalas

March 28: You never know how much the voice can change till a woman stops yelling and answers the phone.

March 29: “A woman doesn’t tell the truth all the time—there just isn’t that much truth.”—He-who Who-he

March 30: “The best way to tie a woman down is with a telephone cord.”—Paul Gibson. 

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
October 20
1947—HUAC Hearings Begin
The House Un-American Activities Committee begins its investigation into Communist infiltration of Hollywood, resulting in a witch hunt that destroys lives, ruins careers, and makes Senator Joseph McCarthy the most feared politician of the era.
1968—Jackie Kennedy Marries
Former First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy marries Greek shipping tycoon Aristotle Onassis. The marriage comes as a total surprise to the American public, and results in a terrible backlash against her and also makes her the number one target of paparazzi for years.
October 19
1989—Guildford Four Exonerated
The men known as the Guildford Four, who were imprisoned for a series of bombs attacks on British pubs that left five dead and 100 injured, are decreed not guilty after an investigation reveals that police colluded in doctoring statements that appeared to incriminate the defendants.
October 18
1968—Olympic Committee Suspends Carlos and Smith
The U.S. Olympic Committee suspends African-American track & field athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos for saluting the crowd with raised, gloved fists during a medal ceremony at the Mexico City games. The salutes represented the black power and civil rights movements in the United States. Both athletes also received their medals shoeless to represent black poverty.
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