“… swing your partner round and round, till the room is a blur and her skull hits the ground, doe-si-doe and don’t you know, shake her round till she bleeds out her nose, swing her round just a little bit more, till she loses her bra and her hair sweeps the floor, promenade and go round the hall, crazy zebra skin on the wall…” 

It’s Super Bowl Sunday again over in the States, and we expect the key to today’s game to be penetration. Repeated penetration. If either side fails to apply significant pressure, look for the passers to go deep early and often, but also expect both to use their tight ends. Once in the red zone, it’s crucial to stick it in for seven, because we all know three just ain't gonna cut it. Whoever gets up first will have an advantage, since coming from behind can be a stiff test unless the other side mishandles some balls. We’re thinking that after the last couple of very tight ones, this year’s match up could be a bit of an anti-climax. Expect the thing to get blown wide open in the third fourth. Colts Saints by two touches. 

This is a simply perfect Robert Bonfils cover for Alan Marshall’s, aka Donald Westlake’s, Lust Always Rings Twice. The overall humor of the piece is great, but Bonfils has really nailed the postman’s facial expression, which is that of a guy pleasantly shocked to discover he’s going to be giving a beautiful woman an entirely different type of package than he’d thought. This almost makes us want to apply for a postal job, except we’re not lucky enough to get a route like this guy’s, nor are we nimble enough to avoid the sprays of indiscriminate gunfire from disgruntled employees. So we’ll just stick with the book—it really delivers.

Since we mentioned the great Robert Silverberg’s foray into smut, we thought we’d post another one of his dirty books. Here he writes under the name Don Elliott and, believe it or not, we saw this paperback online for $42. Yeah, for real. Since the original only cost ninety-five cents, that represents an appreciation of like… well, we have no idea. What we do appreciate is the masterpiece cover art by Robert Bonfils featuring four girls who like to draw outside the lines.

Despite the racy look of it, 1,2,3… Swap! is one of author Curt Aldrich’s (aka Richard Curtis's) tamer efforts. Writing from the mid-60s and into the 80s, he specialized in swapping fiction, giving us many memorable books, including Cock ‘o the Swap, Swap Epidemic, and Swap ’69. Not one to limit himself, Aldrich also went fully hardcore with rather shocking titles like Daughter Loves Horses, Spread Big Sister, and Horny Holy Roller Family. Many of these books featured low-rent cover illustrations that were little more than sketches, but this psychedelic effort by an unknown artist (looks like it could be Robert Bonfils, but absent confirmation, we'll go with unknown) is first rate. We'll be posting more of Adrich's books in the future.

If a thousand monkeys typed on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years, they’d eventually write the collected works of Shakespeare—or they might produce this. R. John Smythe’s fantasy-erotica has very little going for it in the prose department, although we’ll credit him for conceptual creativity. But a bizarre story about swinging spouses—even one populated by mythical creatures, as this one is—is not a reason to buy the book. No, it’s made purchaseworthy by two things. The first is the Robert Bonfils cover art, and the second is the title—Dr. Swapus. Pure. Unadulterated. Genius.