Sex Files Nov 19 2015
BREAST PRACTICES
The National Informer sex seminar in now is session.

National Informer shares the knowledge in a Sex Education Special published this month in 1971, offering readers a tabloid manual of best practices for intersex relations. What do you want to know? How to satisfy a super-sexed female? Answer: ejaculate quickly so you can take your time pleasing her afterward. How do you prepare for a weekend orgy? Answer: start with a heart check-up. What’s the best way to warm up a frigid wife? Answer: erotic reading material, perhaps even—surprise—National Informer. The magazine’s sex seminar is not only for men—J.B. McNaughton explains to women how to use their breasts to turn men on. Answer: have them (actually, that’s our answer, not theirs). One person who probably needed serious advice was Prince Julius Eduard of Anhalt, Germany, who editors claim got into hot water when a nude photo of his girlfriend Christine Gunther appeared in a men’s magazine. We tried like hell to confirm this tale but to no avail. If it isn’t on the internet it definitely didn’t happen, so we’ll chalk this story up to too much brown acid in the editorial offices. We’ll have much more Informer soon.

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
September 26
1934—Queen Mary Launched
The RMS Queen Mary, three-and-a-half years in the making, launches from Clydebank, Scotland. The steamship enters passenger service in May 1936 and sails the North Atlantic Ocean until 1967. Today she is a museum and tourist attraction anchored in Long Beach, U.S.A.
1983—Nuclear Holocaust Averted
Soviet military officer Stanislav Petrov, whose job involves detection of enemy missiles, is warned by Soviet computers that the United States has launched a nuclear missile at Russia. Petrov deviates from procedure, and, instead of informing superiors, decides the detection is a glitch. When the computer warns of four more inbound missiles he decides, under much greater pressure this time, that the detections are also false. Soviet doctrine at the time dictates an immediate and full retaliatory strike, so Petrov's decision to leave his superiors out of the loop very possibly prevents humanity's obliteration. Petrov's actions remain a secret until 1988, but ultimately he is honored at the United Nations.
September 25
2002—Mystery Space Object Crashes in Russia
In an occurrence known as the Vitim Event, an object crashes to the Earth in Siberia and explodes with a force estimated at 4 to 5 kilotons by Russian scientists. An expedition to the site finds the landscape leveled and the soil contaminated by high levels of radioactivity. It is thought that the object was a comet nucleus with a diameter of 50 to 100 meters.
September 24
1992—Sci Fi Channel Launches
In the U.S., the cable network USA debuts the Sci Fi Channel, specializing in science fiction, fantasy, horror, and paranormal programming. After a slow start, it built its audience and is now a top ten ranked network for male viewers aged 18–54, and women aged 25–54.
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