Vintage Pulp Oct 29 2021
WARDEN OF THE STATE
Whether you call her Ilsa, Greta, or Wanda, she's a Thorne in everyone's sides.


Above is a Japanese poster for Ilsa, the Wicked Warden. We've already shown you Japanese posters for what we assumed was the complete Ilsa trilogy of torturesploitation flicks starring Dyanne Thorne, but when we saw this one we got a little confused. This was originally released in West Germany in January 1977—before the third official Ilsa film. It was not originally titled Ilsa the Wicked Warden, but Greta - Haus ohne Männer, as well as Wanda, the Wicked Warden. But still, since it came out before Ilsa 3, we thought maybe it was part of the group. So is it an Ilsa movie or not? Only one way to find out.

*cut to ninety minutes later*

Well, it's an Ilsa movie in spirit, but since Thorne plays a character named Greta, it isn't canonical. An enterprising video distributor renamed it to sucker aficionados of the first two Ilsa flicks. We doubt those fans felt tricked—Greta is identical to the other efforts, but without the nazi backstory. It was made under the steady, sleazy hand of veteran smut director Jesús Franco, and plotwise Tania Busselier goes undercover into Thorne's brutal Las Palomas mental institution/supermax prison in order to expose its corruption, but in risking her body and mind gets far more than she bargained for. And by more we mean whippings, various sexual invasions, and, probably, a sense of dismay about the direction of her film career.

The movie is really just an episodic collection of torture set pieces interspersed with sex scenes, and it's absolutely awful. There's no way to get around that fact. It's ridiculously written and atrociously acted, which we sometimes don't mind if a film has a certain spark, but this one is like a broken down horse with ticks and saddlesores. It'll get you somewhere but it won't be a pleasant ride. Thorne shows everything she's got, but while her fuzzy nooks and crannies may be a draw for some, we cannot recommend a movie this bad, even for people who think they're clever enough to make fun of it. Greta - Haus ohne Männer, aka Ilsa the Wicked Warden, aka Wanda, the Wicked Warden premiered in Japan today in 1977. If you're curious, here are our entries on the actual Ilsa canon—one, two, three.
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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
May 27
1930—Chrysler Building Opens
In New York City, after a mere eighteen months of construction, the Chrysler Building opens to the public. At 1,046 feet, 319 meters, it is the tallest building in the world at the time, but more significantly, William Van Alen's design is a landmark in art deco that is celebrated to this day as an example of skyscraper architecture at its most elegant.
1969—Jeffrey Hunter Dies
American actor Jeffrey Hunter dies of a cerebral hemorrhage after falling down a flight of stairs and sustaining a skull fracture, a mishap precipitated by his suffering a stroke seconds earlier. Hunter played many roles, including Jesus in the 1961 film King of Kings, but is perhaps best known for portraying Captain Christopher Pike in the original Star Trek pilot episode "The Cage".
May 25
1938—Alicante Is Bombed
During the Spanish Civil War, a squadron of Italian bombers sent by fascist dictator Benito Mussolini to support the insurgent Spanish Nationalists, bombs the town of Alicante, killing more than three-hundred people. Although less remembered internationally than the infamous Nazi bombing of Guernica the previous year, the death toll in Alicante is similar, if not higher.
1977—Star Wars Opens
George Lucas's sci-fi epic Star Wars premiers in the Unites States to rave reviews and packed movie houses. Produced on a budget of $11 million, the film goes on to earn $460 million in the U.S. and $337 million overseas, while spawning a franchise that would eventually earn billions and make Lucas a Hollywood icon.
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