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Pulp International - Mystery+Science+Theater+3000
Vintage Pulp Mar 10 2022
YOUTH IN REVOLT
If you can't tame them join them.


We've been meaning to get to Untamed Youth for a long time because we know it's considered one of the cheesier movies from its era. And who can resist a quality cheese? Since it premiered today in 1957, we decided to give it a screening, and it turns out the film's reuptation is deserved. It stars Mamie Van Doren and Lori Nelson as beautiful sisters railroaded into a hicktown jail. In court, the county judge, who seems as though she'd possibly be lenient, instead sentences the sisters to thirty days of hard outdoor work on a farm. We quickly learn this is a free labor racket engineered by a wealthy rancher who pursued and married the judge, then put the idea in her head. Call it a case of private enterprise exercising undue influence over the judiciary to enable advantageous economic ends. You know—business as usual in America.

But none of that is important. What matters is that Untamed Youth is indeed one of the best bad movies we've seen. Interwoven into the plot is the theme of hipster rebellion, embodied by proto-rock music. For this reason dance parties break out at any and every moment, complete with choreography, air guitar, and bad lip synching even Milli Vanilli would be ashamed to call their own. Van Doren, with her swinging pelvis and wacky dance hands, is more like a mime than a Mame. Golf prodigy Jeanne Carmen plays the standard mean girl—whose fire goes out after one solid punch in the face from Nelson. And Eddie Cochran sings and dances through a couple of numbers, one of which, “Cotton Picker,” goes on waaay too long. The movie is so bad that Mystery Science Theater 3000 put it through the wringer back in 1990.

What makes the movie special is the dialogue, which contains too many accidental laugh lines to count. Our favorite is when John Russell, as the evil Mr. Tropp, is mentally slavering over the money he's going to make with his forced labor, and goes, “Don't you see honey? After this harvest I'll be rich. And next season, I'll be wealthy!” We also got a kick out of Pinky, the camp cook played by Wally Brown, who stops the music to make an announcement, then tells the kids it's okay to start dancing again with this jaw-dropper: “Intermission over! Back to your African antics!” Yup—these old movies often have anachronistic clunkers like that. This one is a disaster, but Van Doren, Nelson, and others shake, rattle, and roll their way through it, and you can tell they had fun. We had fun watching it, and we suspect you will too.
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Vintage Pulp Nov 4 2019
KITTY LITTER
Stray cat makes a mess all over the place.


Above is the memorable U.S. promo poster for the drama Kitten with a Whip, with blatant example of Swedish perfection Ann-Margret striking a nice pose. The plot of the film basically follows that of Wade Miller's hit novel of the same name. Ann-Margret plays a juvenile delinquent named Jody who turns up in the home of an unsuspecting man played by John Forsythe and proceeds to upend his day. Things go from bad to worse when three more delinquents show up and seem intent on wrecking Forsythe's life permanently. Ann-Margret was cast to lift her from the ranks of musicals into serious cinema, but considering the film was skewered by Mystery Science Theater 3000 we don't need to tell you the results were mixed. It's worth a watch, though. It premiered in the U.S. today in 1964.

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Hollywoodland Jun 23 2009
GORDON BROWN
Has anyone seen my tube of Tannymax? The king-size one? About yay big?


When we came across this promo shot of a very brown Gordon Scott we had to post it because we remembered him fondly from an especially amusing episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Here you see Scott as Tarzan, which was a role he took after Lex Barker moved on to greener pastures. Scott was the twelfth actor to inhabit film’s most famous loincloth, by which time it probably needed a good scrubbing. After six of the jungle adventures, he went on—still impressively bronzed, though wearing slightly more costuming—to headline numerous Italian sword & sandal epics. He also starred in the groovy spy movie Danger!! Death Ray, aka Il raggio infernale, which is the film MST3K skewered. Got ninety spare minutes? Check it out here. Scott was a true b-movie heavyweight.

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
March 19
1931—Nevada Approves Gambling
In the U.S., the state of Nevada passes a resolution allowing for legalized gambling. Unregulated gambling had been commonplace in the early Nevada mining towns, but was outlawed in 1909 as part of a nationwide anti-gaming crusade. The leading proponents of re-legalization expected that gambling would be a short term fix until the state's economic base widened to include less cyclical industries. However, gaming proved over time to be one of the least cyclical industries ever conceived.
1941—Tuskegee Airmen Take Flight
During World War II, the 99th Pursuit Squadron, aka the Tuskegee Airmen, is activated. The group is the first all-black unit of the Army Air Corp, and serves with distinction in Africa, Italy, Germany and other areas. In March 2007 the surviving airmen and the widows of those who had died received Congressional Gold Medals for their service.
March 18
1906—First Airplane Flight in Europe
Romanian designer Traian Vuia flies twelve meters outside Paris in a self-propelled airplane, taking off without the aid of tractors or cables, and thus becomes the first person to fly a self-propelled, heavier-than-air aircraft. Because his craft was not a glider, and did not need to be pulled, catapulted or otherwise assisted, it is considered by some historians to be the first true airplane.
1965—Leonov Walks in Space
Soviet cosmonaut Aleksei Leonov leaves his spacecraft the Voskhod 2 for twelve minutes. At the end of that time Leonov's spacesuit had inflated in the vacuum of space to the point where he could not re-enter Voskhod's airlock. He opened a valve to allow some of the suit's pressure to bleed off, was barely able to get back inside the capsule, and in so doing became the first person to complete a spacewalk.
March 17
1966—Missing Nuke Found
Off the coast of Spain in the Mediterranean, the deep submergence vehicle Alvin locates a missing American hydrogen bomb. The 1.45-megaton nuke had been lost by the U.S. Air Force during a midair accident over Palomares, Spain. It was found resting in nearly three-thousand feet of water and was raised intact on 7 April.
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