William Hurt’s penis: Really? Let me have a look.

William Hurt’s brain: (tells arms to cover crotch with suit jacket) Don’t get too excited, P. I’m pretty sure she’s trying to frame us for murder.

William Hurt’s penis: And?

William Hurt’s brain: And we could go to prison forever.

William Hurt’s penis: We’ll worry about that later. Is she still doing the neck thing? Just imagine what her lips feel like. I bet she has a really soft tongue too. What size are her breasts? Hey, try to get a peek at her ass, wouldja? Just point at something and see if she turns around.

William Hurt’s brain: I’m feeling a little faint, P.

William Hurt’s penis: That’s because I’m borrowing some of the blood you use to function. Don’t worry about it. I’ll give it back later.

William Hurt’s brain: What were we just talking about? Man, I’m kind of dizzy.

William Hurt’s penis: You want me to drive for a bit? I don’t mind.

William Hurt’s brain: Would you? That would be really cool. I need to just… shut it down for a while.

William Hurt’s penis: Gotcha covered, buddy. Next stop, the promised land. Just move the jacket before you go, ’kay? Thanks.