Vintage Pulp Dec 21 2014
SHLOCK AND KEY
Unlocking the door to all your darkest and dirtiest thoughts.

Keyhole’s slogan is “for mature adults.” We think it’s more for horny high schoolers, but there’s no doubt it’s a bold tabloid. This issue published today in 1972 has everything from swinging sex safaris (“Make sure your gun is loaded for bare”) to gay frat houses (“They don’t swallow goldfish anymore”). None of it’s real, of course. The frat house story is a firsthand account of a new pledge at a Harvard fraternity who doesn’t discover the members dress in drag until he goes under the skirt of a blonde lovely and gets a handful of nutsack. The article features a photo of a bearish model with a volume of Shakespeare over his willie. The sex safari story features British model Susan Shaw in what could easily be someone’s unweeded back garden. But while the stories are phony, they’re at least funny—not on their merits so much, but because people actually got paid to write them. Quite a way to make a living. What’s even funnier? People bought Keyhole. We have a few scans below, and sharp-eyed readers may recognize American glamour model Sylvia Bayo, aka Lucienne Camille as the Keyhole Cutie for the month.

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
December 09
1965—UFO Reported by Thousands of Witnesses
A large, brilliant fireball is seen by thousands in at least six U.S. states and Ontario, Canada as it streaks across the sky, reportedly dropping hot metal debris, starting grass fires, and causing sonic booms. It is generally assumed and reported by the press to be a meteor, however some witnesses claim to have approached the fallen object and seen an alien craft.
December 08
1980—John Lennon Killed
Ex-Beatle John Lennon is shot four times in the back and killed by Mark David Chapman in front of The Dakota apartment building in New York City. Chapman had been stalking Lennon since October, and earlier that evening Lennon had autographed a copy of his album Double Fantasy for him.
December 07
1941—Japanese Attack Pearl Harbor
The Imperial Japanese Navy sends aircraft to attack the U.S. Pacific Fleet and its defending air forces at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. While the U.S. lost battleships and other vessels, its aircraft carriers were not at Pearl Harbor and survived intact, robbing the Japanese of the total destruction of the Pacific Fleet they had hoped to achieve.
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