Mondo Bizarro Sep 15 2011
ME SO HORNY
Booking photo of man with facial adornments goes viral, defense attorney resorts to prayer.
We’ve always featured mugshots on Pulp Intl., but due to the nature of the site we prefer those of the celebrity variety. But Caius Veiovis, who you see above, qualifies by virtue of the fact that his arrest photo has gone fully viral, metastasizing throughout the internet in just two days on thousands of sites in dozens of countries. Veiovis was arrested in Massachusetts along with two accomplices for the murder of three men who were slated to testify at the criminal trial of a local Hells Angel. Veiovis has pleaded not guilty to the charges, and his lawyer must be on his knees in a church right now praying there are no eyewitnesses, because the cross examination would be a bitch:
 
Defense: “And how can you be so sure it was my client you saw running from the scene covered in blood and screaming exhortations to the Prince of Darkness?”
 
Witness: “Well, there’s the horns, and the 666 on his forehead, and, you know, those spiky—”
 
Defense: “So it’s safe to say you were focused on these adornments? So focused in fact, that you never really saw my client’s face, isn’t that correct?”
 
Witness: “Isn’t the forehead part of the face?”
 
Defense: “Is it? Then why isn’t it called the foreface, smart guy?”
 
Prosecution: “Objection! Badgering the witness.”
 
Judge: “I’ll allow it.”

Defense: “Ladies and gentlemen, my client’s adornments are no different than a hat and pair of sunglasses, accoutrements any of a thousand other men could easily wear, and probably do. In fact, I even have a couple of horns I wear sometimes. I got them when I passed the Bar Exam. Your Honor, move to dismiss.”     

 
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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
October 02
1919—Wilson Suffers Stroke
U.S. President Woodrow Wilson suffers a massive stroke, leaving him partially paralyzed. He is confined to bed for weeks, but eventually resumes his duties, though his participation is little more than perfunctory. Wilson remains disabled throughout the remainder of his term in office, and the rest of his life.
1968—Massacre in Mexico
Ten days before the opening of the 1968 Summer Olympics in Mexico City, a peaceful student demonstration ends in the Tlatelolco Massacre. 200 to 300 students are gunned down, and to this day there is no consensus about how or why the shooting began.
October 01
1910—Los Angeles Times Bombed
A massive dynamite bomb destroys the Los Angeles Times building in downtown Los Angeles, California, killing 21 people. Police arrest James B. McNamara and his brother John J. McNamara. Though the brothers are represented by the era's most famous lawyer, Clarence Darrow, of Scopes Monkey Trial fame, they eventually plead guilty. James is convicted and sentenced to fifteen years in prison. His brother John is convicted of a separate bombing of the Llewellyn Iron Works and also sent to prison.
1975—Ali Defeats Frazier in Manila
In the Philippines, an epic heavyweight boxing match known as the Thrilla in Manila takes place between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier. It is the third, final and most brutal match between the two, and Ali wins by TKO in the fourteenth round.
September 30
1955—James Dean Dies in Auto Accident
American actor James Dean, who appeared in the films Giant, East of Eden, and the iconic Rebel without a Cause, dies in an auto accident at age 24 when his Porsche 550 Spyder is hit head-on by a larger Ford coupe. The driver of the Ford had been trying to make a left turn across the rural highway U.S. Route 466 and never saw Dean's small sports car approaching.
1962—Chavez Founds UFW
Mexican-American farm worker César Chávez founds the United Farm Workers in California. His strikes, marches and boycotts eventually result in improved working conditions for manual farm laborers and today his birthday is celebrated as a holiday in eight U.S. states.
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