|Vintage Pulp | Sex Files||May 6 2013|
Rampage is not the most visual of tabloids, but the stories are colorful enough to make up for it. Of those, there’s one clear winner in this issue published today in 1973. It deals with a live sex show in “the Casbah,” presumably Morocco, in which a girl teaches a monkey oral sex by shoving a banana inside her vagina. Once the chimp reaches third base, it’s only a matter of time before he slides into home. We’ll let Rampage scribe Casey Coozer (uh, right) describe the climax, so to speak, of the story: “Now came the best part of the show. As the audience watched these monkeyshines on stage, a troupe of Casbah whores took each man in the crowd and [snip] started blowing us right there. The ape is balling, the chicks are blowing, and at the end it seemed like everyone came at the same time. God, the fucking noise was unbelievable. [snip] The whore onstage is going absolutely bananas, the monkey is screaming like he just woke up with a leopard’s jaws around his head, and everybody, I mean everybody, is creaming!”
Nothing much we can say about that except we never saw anything of the sort during our trip to Morocco. Would we actually want to see chimp on human sex? Well no, but we still have to wonder if it might be preferable to having a knife-scarred maniac utter these words to us: “You talk big now, but next time I see you I’m going to kill you.” Monkeysex or murder threat? Hmm, tough call. Elsewhere in Rampage there’s an amusing story about sexual promiscuity in the Greek isles, more bestial action involving a woman and a cocker spaniel, and the tale of a woman held captive in a Haitian sex camp. A while back we posted an issue of Rampage from 1969 and said the paper promised but didn’t deliver. Amazing what four years and a loosening of American obscenity laws can do. This Rampage delivers all the madness and mayhem anyone could want. Of course, another change from 1969 is that the paper now bears a slogan: “America’s top satire and humor weekly.” In other words, the stories are made up. But what imaginations these guys had. Ten scans below.
|Intl. Notebook | Sex Files||Mar 18 2013|
Sometimes we get a little lazy with our scanning. You already know that. A couple of years ago we shared the cover and two pages from an issue of The Lowdown and discussed the murder trial of Dr. Sam Sheppard. In that issue were some other interesting pages, particularly of German actress Elke Sommer. We had made her our very first femme fatale way back, so we always thought she was amazing, but we gained a new appreciation for her after watching her in Deadlier than the Male. Really, scientists should double-check that global warming didn’t start in 1967, because that’s how hot she is in that movie. Anyway, we realized The Lowdown’s photos of Sommer might not have appeared online before, so we decided to take care of that today. What are those naughty secrets about her, you ask? The Lowdown says she was a swinger before she got married.
|Hollywoodland | Sex Files||Mar 13 2013|
We’re jumping right into our treasure trove of newly arrived tabloids today with a glance at this issue of The Lowdown published in March 1965. On the cover you see Jean Harlow, Carroll Baker, and Ed Sullivan. We talked about Baker recently and there she is in that crazy gown again (below)—or is she? No, on close examination this is yet another version of the dress. Clearly, the photo was shot on a different night than all the others because her hair and jewelry are different. But the actual dress also looks slightly different from both the Oleg Cassini and Pierre Balmain iterations. A reference in the story clears things up at least a little: “Transparency gowns are another of her big passions and she often wears them.” There you have it. Half naked was a fairly standard look for Carroll Baker. They just don’t make stars like they used to.
You might be curious what the article is about. On the cover the header reads: “The Night Carroll Baker Played a Call Girl,” but on the inside, it says: “The Night Carroll Baker Played a Harlot!” The story goes that she wanted to research her role as a prostitute in the movie Sylvia, so sheventured down to Tijuana, Mexico, toured a few brothels, and somehow disappeared alone for two hours: “We don’t know what happened in the house in Mexico or what sights she could have barged in on, but that is bouncy Miss Baker’s bit.” Lost in a Mexican whorehouse. The mind reels. Do we buy it? Not for a minute.
What was the comedy? Harlow said nothing to the press. But according to Arthur Landau, she told him Paul Bern had spent $200 on a device to increase his manhood. Wearing the contraption he had entered their bedroom intent on finally consummating their marriage. This hope was doomed from the start and the whole plan turned into such a tragic farce that both he and Jean finally gave way to hysterical laughter. That’s probably one of the sadder stories you’ll ever hear. Is it true? It appeared in a biography about Harlow, but we can never know. We can, however, at least answer the question posed by The Lowdown’s story header. No—Jean Harlow’s sex life was not hot at all.
|Vintage Pulp | Sex Files||Jan 8 2013|
The cheapie American tabloid National Informer warns on this cover from today in 1968 that too much sex can drive you insane. We would think the opposite is true, but the article quotes the eminent (or perhaps entirely fictional) Dr. Frans Hersen, head of the renowned (or fictional) American Sex Institute: We visited mental hospitals looking for sex problems related to a totally different study and suddenly noticed that many of the cases in the various institutions were all related to TOO MUCH SEX (emphasis theirs). So there you go—the science is clear. We have plenty more National Bulletin tucked away inside Pulp Intl. and you can see those by starting here.
|Sex Files||Jan 4 2013|
There’s an interesting item making the rounds today, not strictly pulp, but worth a mention. Apparently a 1684 sex manual entitled Aristotle’s Compleat Master Piece will be offered for sale by Lyon and Turnbull auctioneers in Edinburgh, Scotland. The book, which was written in English and published there but banned until the 1960s, is part reference guide, part medical manual, and part anti-sex screed. For example, while the text offers suggestions for sexual enjoyment, and contains medical style drawings, it also warns couples what can happen if children are conceived in sin—namely that it would be born covered with hair or that Siamese twins would result. The author of the Compleat Master Piece is not known, but it's clear nothing Aristotle wrote made it into the text. Which could be considered a good thing. Great thinker and all, certainly smarter than we’ll ever be, but nobody’s perfect, and he whiffed badly a few times when it came to sex. Like for instance, he believed testicles were merely weights, and semen was produced from blood via body heat, with the best stuff coming from the area around the eyes. Given the choice, maybe we’ll take our sex advice from the anonymous hack. Auctioneers expect the book to fetch up to $650.
|Sex Files||Dec 31 2012|
New Year’s Eve is always a time of revelry, partying, and cringeworthy attempts to turn friendly midnight kisses into full blown sexual escapades, so what better day of the year to share this vintage 1931 condom box from Sheik? The Sheik company was founded by a half-paralyzed German immigrant named Julius Schmid, who arrived in New York City in 1884 at age seventeen and whose first job was as a—wait for it—sausage maker. Inspired by stuffing meat into animal intestines, he used the same principle to create his first condoms.
At first he sold exclusively from his apartment, and because all contraception was illegal in the U.S. at the time, he billed his skins as “French goods and medicines.” They were incredibly popular, because childbirth was dangerous and forcing women to be baby factories had serious impacts on their longevity. By the time condoms were made legal in 1918 Schmid was uniquely positioned to dominate the market. He became the official condom supplier to the U.S. military, launched the Ramses condom brand, and by the 1930s was sitting on a multi-million dollar fortune.
We were surprised to see similar Sheik condom tins online with fifty-dollar asking prices, but then a little spin around the interwebs informed us that these prices are driven by collectors. Yes, people actually collect these things. Presumably, they make great conversation pieces. With this one you really get your money’s worth, because it contains one unused, still-in-its-wrapper Sheik condom, as reliable and efficacious as the day it was manufactured. Okay, maybe not.
Happy 2013, pulpsters. We have plenty of lovely surprises planned for the upcoming year, so please keep dropping by. Our traffic has just about recovered from the erasure of our database earlier this year by the domain-company-that-shall-not-be-named, and each and every one of your visits is truly appeciated. Tomorrow, assuming we aren't hung over, we'll get back to posting pages from the Goodtime Weekly Calendar, so look forward to that. Okay, guess that's it for now. Have fun tonight, be safe in every way, and remember, when it comes time for that midnight kiss, fortune favors the bold.
|Sex Files||Dec 14 2012|
Pulp, sleaze, sexploitation, porn—they’re all related. Ginger Lynn Allen falls unambiguously into the latter category. She began her adult film career in 1983, dropping her last name and becoming simply Ginger Lynn. She quickly became the biggest star in porn. No surprise there—she was skinny, had a wild blonde mane perfect for the hair metal era, and was pretty, not just for porn, but in any milieu. In a donut shop. In a dorm room. In a convertible. On a beach. She fit everywhere. Her enthusiastic performances were a bonus. The above poster was made for 1984’s I Want It All. The movie didn’t make it to Japan until 1990, but the fact that it made it at all shows the scope of Ginger Lynn’s fame. She was born fifty years ago today.
|Vintage Pulp | Sex Files||Nov 15 2012|
The National Insider was a second tier tabloid, but even it sometimes got the facts correct. The headline on this cover is true—Diana Dors did have a two-way mirror in the bedroom ceiling of her house in Maidenhead, just outside London. Insider didn’t break the story. Rupert Murdoch’s News of the World had done that six years earlier and had shared all the tawdry details with British readers in a heavy breathing 12-week serial. But a good sex story can always be reprised, so Insider decided to dredge the details up again for American readers today in 1964.
At age nineteen Diana Dors had married a man named Dennis Hamilton, who turned out to be a paranoid, violent, and domineering louse who smacked her around and took over the management of her career. Professionally, he steered her away from serious drama into fluff cinema, while privately he initiated her into a life of sex parties and voyeurism. In addition to the two-way mirror in the bedroom ceiling, there were also assorted 8mm motion picture cameras scattered around the house so they could film their bacchanals and later review the action in their leisure time.
So there you have it. Whether Dennis Hamilton unleashed something in Diana Dors or she was always a voyeur party animal we don’t know. Or maybe it was a little of both, exacerbated by her reaching the height of fame as the prim fifties gave way to the swinging sixties. Interestingly, most of the information about the wild parties came from Dors herself at first. It wasn’t until after she died of cancer at age 52 that other people spoke up. But they were often kind with respect to Dors. That could be for many reasons, but we like to think of it this way: they must have had an awfully good time at those parties.
|Sex Files||Oct 9 2012|
1972’s Behind the Green Door was considered part of a porno chic movement—along with Devil in Miss Jones and Deep Throat—that brought porn into the mainstream. That mainstream now amounts to several billion dollars in profit a year, or as much as $97 billion, depending on whom you believe. But of course, profit and consumption are two different things. Most porn is consumed for free. But as to how widely viewed it really is, ask yourself this—what would you think of someone who claimed they had never seen a porno movie? The answer to that question tells you how pervasive it really is. The above poster, which features Marilyn Chambers symbolically wearing a pearl necklace arranged in a not-so-symbolic X, was produced for Behind the Green Door’s Japanese run, which began today in 1976.
|Sex Files||Jul 27 2012|
So, here’s the Robert Mitchum booklet cited in the July 1957 Hush-Hush in the above post. The article describes it as the lowest form of filth and its maker or makers as degenerate profiteers. Pretty hard to argue with that. Consider it a warning. It’s called Goof Butts, and it references Mitchum’s arrest for marijuana possession in 1948. Assuming the creators of the book wanted to strike while the iron was hot, so to speak, they probably published it around the same time. Enjoy.