| Vintage Pulp | Mar 5 2014 |
Police Gazette trots out its resident experts to give readers advice sure to get them in deep trouble.
This April 1972 issue of The National Police Gazette offers up Australian bellydancer Rozetta Ahalyea as its cover star, touts a method about picking winning horses, instructs how to outsmart used car racketeers, and suggests what to do when your wife goes on a sex strike. Concerning the latter, is the answer to apologize for whatever fucked up thing you did? No—Gazette suggests withholding her allowance, or possibly disappearing one or two nights a week until she realizes she could lose you. Yeah, that’ll totally make things better.
Inside the issue are stories on Jackie Kennedy and Jack Ruby, Natalie Wood and her lovers, wiretappers, naked witchcraft, cosmetic surgery, and Cassius Clay, who the editors refuse to call Muhammad Ali despite his name change of eight years earlier. Gazette also offers to tell you what you don’t know about lesbians. And what would that be? According to hypnotherapist Dr. Frank Caprio, they’re all mentally damaged. Come on, surely you didn’t expect a different answer from the Police Gazette? Caprio states: “There is some degree of homosexuality, latent or overt, in all women. [During] sexual development the homosexual component becomes sublimated in the form of friendships and non-sexual activities. However, in some instances this repression of the homosexual component is not successful and the individual finds herself the victim of bisexual conflicts.”
What kind of conflicts? Well, he cites the case of a woman who vomited uncontrollably for weeks due to unknown causes. After exhausting her options with physicians, she came to him for help and he determined that her guilt about a lesbian experience in her past was the cause of her non-stop cookie tossing. Caprio considers it an extreme but understandable reaction to a distasteful experience. So there you have it—everything you need to know about lesbians, provided for you by a heterosexual, middle-aged chauvinist who believes that “female homosexuality represents a flight from the responsibilities of marriage and motherhood.” Scans below.
AustraliaPolice GazetteRozetta AhalyeaCassius ClayMuhammad AliJacqueline KennedyJack RubyNatalie Woodlgbttabloid
