Hmm, how to assess Bruno Mattei’s nazisploitation flick Casa privata per le SS, aka La maison privée des SS, aka SS Girls? Well, let’s just say that the term softcore is too kind. In reality, it’s droopcore, or better yet, shrinkcore—i.e., watching this will affect your sex organs like a dip in icy waters. If you took out all the inept, thrashing semi-sex scenes, and the scenes of sweaty Gabriele Carrara playing his pipe organ, as well as the shots of Nazis laughing evilly (and interminably), what you’d have left is maybe forty minutes of Mystery Science Theatre-level awfulness about a group of women coerced into sleeping with high ranking SS officers in order to uncover a plot to betray Hitler. Our girlfriends gave up during the naked hunchback scene (“Oh my God! That’s revolting! How can you watch this?”) but we stuck with it and eventually focused our attentions on Macha Magall, who might be the only watchable cast member. But she’s eventually mutilated and dumped out a castle window, and the movie fatally plummets at that point too. So in the end, perhaps the flick’s best quality is its promo art by Aller, aka Carlo Alessandrini, which you see above. Casa privata per le SS premiered in Italy today in 1977.