Miss France runs into a world of problems.
Beauty pageants are sexual events. Let’s not debate it. Despite claims by many that they’re merely a celebration of health, beauty, and talent, they provoke a subtly sexual reaction, a bit like the foot rubs in the film Pulp Fiction. To quote Vincent Vega: “We act like they don’t, but they do. There’s a sensuous thing going on where you don’t talk about it, but you know it.” Isabelle Chaudieu certainly must have known it. She won the title of Miss France today in 1984, four days before her eighteenth birthday. Unfortunately for pageant organizers, she had already posed nude for a professional photographer. The French magazine Lui bought the photos, paired them with shots of Chaudieu in her pageant regalia, and splashed them inside its February 1985 issue. In France as elsewhere magazines hit the newsstands a bit earlier than their official publication date, which led to Chaudieu being stripped of her title on the 31st of January 1985 and being replaced by runner-up Carole Tredille. Beauty pageants are falling out of favor. There's no doubt of that. More people are beginning to understand our original point that they’re basically sexual in nature. This isn’t because such people have dirty minds. Reasonably speaking, when people see a woman parade up and down in a bathing suit they aren’t imagining her swimming the 200 meter butterfly—they’re imagining her peeling out of the suit and performing the Venus butterfly. Sex is the reason every one of us came into being and is the main goal, biologically speaking, of all our lives. It’s just plain silly to expect people not to be reminded of it. And pageant organizers know their product does exactly that, which is why they punish women like Chaudieu, Vanessa Williams, and others for displaying themselves as sexual beings. It’s toweringly hypocritical, but also understandable in the sense that they’re desperate to protect a highly profitable product. The photo we’ve shared below of Chaudieu showing off her body as well as her 10,000 megawatt smile didn’t come from her Lui layout but rather from one of the many later sessions she did after deciding to make a career of glamour modeling. She wasn’t the first Miss France to be dethroned because of nude pictures. In 1983 Isabelle Turpaultwas defrocked for photos published by Paris Match. And interestingly, Chaudieu’s replacement performed in hardcore porn under the name Tenessy after her reign as Miss France. Chaudieu had cinematic ambitions as well, but of the mainstream variety. She appeared in Gwendoline, aka The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak, but that was her only screen credit. After a few years posing for men’s magazines she disappeared from the public eye, and today a person who was once the most famous—or notorious—in France, doesn’t even have a French Wikipedia page.
Just exactly who’s Kitaen who here? We recently stumbled upon across a full-sized version of a promo still of Tawny Kitaen we posted last year from her fantastically cheesy 1984 adventure The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak. These new images come from a website that seems to be missing in action now, so we can’t link to it, but thanks guys, wherever you are. For those who haven’t seen this movie, we aren’t going to sully our reputations by describing it as good. But it does have a certain, how shall we say, je ne sais quoi, an intangible wonderfulness that derives mainly from watching Tawny Kitaen transform from buttoned-up schoolmarm to mostly-naked warrior vixen. Also, it helps to be young, desperately horny virgins when you watch it. Actually, maybe that’s the only reason we liked it. In any case, this Raiders-style thriller about a woman chasing a mythical butterfly in the exotic wilds of China, ably directed by Emmanuelle auteur Just Jaeckin, is erotica at its most highbrow. Gwendoline is now considered a cult classic. Virgins and non-virgins alike should give it a whirl.
You can’t stop her, you can only hope to Kitaen her. U.S. actress Tawny Kitaen in a promo shot from her b-movie extraordinaire Gwendoline, aka The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak, circa 1984. We'll be taking a look at the movie later.
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The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
1923—Yankee Stadium Opens
In New York City, Yankee Stadium, home of Major League Baseball's New York Yankees, opens with the Yankees beating their eternal rivals the Boston Red Sox 4 to 1. The stadium, which is nicknamed The House that Ruth Built, sees the Yankees become the most successful franchise in baseball history. It is eventually replaced by a new Yankee Stadium and closes in September 2008. 1961—Bay of Pigs Invasion Is Launched
A group of CIA financed and trained Cuban refugees lands at the Bay of Pigs in southern Cuba with the aim of ousting Fidel Castro. However, the invasion fails badly and the result is embarrassment for U.S. president John F. Kennedy and a major boost in popularity for Fidel Castro, and also has the effect of pushing him toward the Soviet Union for protection. 1943—First LSD Trip Takes Place
Swiss scientist Albert Hofmann, while working at Sandoz Laboratories in Basel, accidentally absorbs lysergic acid diethylamide, better known as LSD, and thus discovers its psychedelic properties. He had first synthesized the substance five years earlier but hadn't been aware of its effects. He goes on to write scores of articles and books about his creation.
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