Mondo Bizarro May 1 2009
STUCK IN THE GRIDDLE
Icon see clearly now.

In the U.S. an image of the Virgin Mary has appeared on a griddle at the Las Palmas diner in Calexico, California. The likeness revealed itself as the griddle was cleaned, and since then more than a hundred people have made pilgrimages to the diner seeking a glimpse, forcing the owners to take the flattop out of service and set it up in a shrine converted from a storage room. Pulp Intl., as usual, is right on top of this stunning story, which means you don’t have to trek to the desert of California to see the miraculous image—we’ve posted it at left.

The image was examined and confirmed as the Virgin Mary by local religious authority Gerardo Fernandez, of Our Lady of Guadalupe Catholic Church, and indeed many of the pilgrims, including a group of masked Mexican wrestlers in town for an exhibition match, claim there is a strong spiritual presence in the griddle, as well as a pervasive odor of French toast. One luchador named El Santo Negro even appeared to develop stigmata in the griddle's presence, but the substance turned out to be strawberry syrup he had spilled on his costume. A kitchen worker then showed him how to remove the stubborn stain with baking soda and warm water, and Santo proclaimed the combination “a miracle cleanser.”

At that point a luchador named Mr. Tempest took exception with Santo’s terminology, calling it disrespectful to the Griddle Virgin, and a free-for-all erupted in the shrine. In the end Tempest stopped Santo with a move he called “la presión baja”—or “the low pressure system”—and Santo fled screaming and cradling his balls. However, authorities fear Santo is merely bowed, not broken, and a schism is imminent in the Church of the Griddle Virgin. Pulp Intl. will keep you updated on this important ongoing story.

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
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