Vintage Pulp Jul 15 2010
Subjects in Mirror are stranger than they appear.
We’ve heard of the hooker with a heart of gold, but this header on the National Mirror from today in 1969 is the first time we’ve heard of a priest with the heart of a prostitute. The priesthood has really taken a beating in the last few years, so we don’t need to offer up any cheap jokes about how a prostie’s heart might be considered an upgrade. Instead, let’s just imagine how much more fun confession would be.

Sinner: “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”
Priest: “Well I knew that. Why else would you be here?”
Sinner: “Um, well anyway, last week after work I—”
Priest: “Slow down there, soldier—around here, it’s pay before you play.”
Sinner: “Er, excuse me?”
Priest: “Sweetie, you must tithe before we writhe. Am I being clear?”
Sinner: “Um… all I have is five dollars.”
Priest: “Oh, hell no. You know what you get for five dollars?”
Sinner: “No.”
Priest: “Last rites.”
Sinner: “But I don’t need last rites.”
Priest: “You will after my business manager Bobo gets done with you.”

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
December 01
1955—Rosa Parks Sparks Bus Boycott
In the U.S., in Montgomery, Alabama, seamstress Rosa Parks refuses to give her bus seat to a white man and is arrested for violating the city's racial segregation laws, an incident which leads to the Montgomery Bus Boycott. The boycott resulted in a crippling financial deficit for the Montgomery public transit system, because the city's African-American population were the bulk of the system's ridership.
November 30
1936—Crystal Palace Gutted by Fire
In London, the landmark structure Crystal Palace, a 900,000 square foot glass and steel exhibition hall erected in 1851, is destroyed by fire. The Palace had been moved once and fallen into disrepair, and at the time of the fire was not in use. Two water towers survived the blaze, but these were later demolished, leaving no remnants of the original structure.
November 29
1963—Warren Commission Formed
U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson establishes the Warren Commission to investigate the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. However the long report that is finally issued does little to settle questions about the assassination, and today surveys show that only a small minority of Americans agree with the Commission's conclusions.

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