Vintage Pulp Jul 15 2010
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
Subjects in Mirror are stranger than they appear.
We’ve heard of the hooker with a heart of gold, but this header on the National Mirror from today in 1969 is the first time we’ve heard of a priest with the heart of a prostitute. The priesthood has really taken a beating in the last few years, so we don’t need to offer up any cheap jokes about how a prostie’s heart might be considered an upgrade. Instead, let’s just imagine how much more fun confession would be.

Sinner: “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”
Priest: “Well I knew that. Why else would you be here?”
Sinner: “Um, well anyway, last week after work I—”
Priest: “Slow down there, soldier—around here, it’s pay before you play.”
Sinner: “Er, excuse me?”
Priest: “Sweetie, you must tithe before we writhe. Am I being clear?”
Sinner: “Um… all I have is five dollars.”
Priest: “Oh, hell no. You know what you get for five dollars?”
Sinner: “No.”
Priest: “Last rites.”
Sinner: “But I don’t need last rites.”
Priest: “You will after my business manager Bobo gets done with you.”
 
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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
October 02
1919—Wilson Suffers Stroke
U.S. President Woodrow Wilson suffers a massive stroke, leaving him partially paralyzed. He is confined to bed for weeks, but eventually resumes his duties, though his participation is little more than perfunctory. Wilson remains disabled throughout the remainder of his term in office, and the rest of his life.
1968—Massacre in Mexico
Ten days before the opening of the 1968 Summer Olympics in Mexico City, a peaceful student demonstration ends in the Tlatelolco Massacre. 200 to 300 students are gunned down, and to this day there is no consensus about how or why the shooting began.
October 01
1910—Los Angeles Times Bombed
A massive dynamite bomb destroys the Los Angeles Times building in downtown Los Angeles, California, killing 21 people. Police arrest James B. McNamara and his brother John J. McNamara. Though the brothers are represented by the era's most famous lawyer, Clarence Darrow, of Scopes Monkey Trial fame, they eventually plead guilty. James is convicted and sentenced to fifteen years in prison. His brother John is convicted of a separate bombing of the Llewellyn Iron Works and also sent to prison.
1975—Ali Defeats Frazier in Manila
In the Philippines, an epic heavyweight boxing match known as the Thrilla in Manila takes place between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier. It is the third, final and most brutal match between the two, and Ali wins by TKO in the fourteenth round.
September 30
1955—James Dean Dies in Auto Accident
American actor James Dean, who appeared in the films Giant, East of Eden, and the iconic Rebel without a Cause, dies in an auto accident at age 24 when his Porsche 550 Spyder is hit head-on by a larger Ford coupe. The driver of the Ford had been trying to make a left turn across the rural highway U.S. Route 466 and never saw Dean's small sports car approaching.
1962—Chavez Founds UFW
Mexican-American farm worker César Chávez founds the United Farm Workers in California. His strikes, marches and boycotts eventually result in improved working conditions for manual farm laborers and today his birthday is celebrated as a holiday in eight U.S. states.

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