Hollywoodland Sep 6 2018
OH-NO FACE
Mess with the tiger and you get the claws.

Ever have a really bad idea? We all have. At Pulp. Intl. we have them several times a week. But sometimes a really bad idea turns into a really bad reality, and when the realization hits that trouble has manifested in the physical world and is about to land on you with all its weight, time slows to a crawl and there's a long moment inside your head when your inner voice goes, “Ohhhhh noooooo.” U.S. actress Marilyn Maxwell is experiencing that in the photo at top, which was published in an issue of Life magazine today in 1954. Just look at the close-up her face below. That's an oh-no face if ever there was one.
 
Why she made that face is a story exactly along the lines you'd expect from seeing the first photo. Maxwell was booked at the Last Frontier Hotel in Las Vegas, where someone had the idea for her to perform with a tiger. The show was a flop because the tiger, whose name was Britches, refused to move. Turns out he had been fed sixteen pounds of horse meat earlier and wasn't feeling very spry. He'd been given the meal so he'd be tired, thus pliant, but it backfired—he was immobile. Note to Maxwell: when your co-star needs a wheelbarrow of raw meat to be safe enough to work with you're caught in the middle of a really bad idea.
 
The next day Life magazine wanted to stage a photo op—Maxwell was to swim with the tiger. But Britches didn't want to get in the pool. Maybe he was holding a grudge from being relentlessly poked and prodded the night before. Maybe he just didn't like pools. He was forcibly dragged into the water, at which point he thrashed and fretted—and clawed Maxwell on the foot. She actually escaped with only a minor gash, but Life played up the incident as though she'd almost died. And maybe in a sense the magazine was right. That same claw could have caught her in the face or eye and we'd be telling a totally different story today.

Below we have a couple more photos of Maxwell's pool misadventure, and we also have a few photos of poor Britches being dragged across the Last Frontier stage by his neck when all he wants to do is digest his horse. Britches, though blameless, could have ended up in serious trouble for his clawing of Maxwell, but he was considered valuable, which means he didn't end up a rug splayed in front of Hugh Hefner's fireplace. Instead he was relieved of his showbiz duties. Maxwell commented to the Hollywood press, “We’re sending him back to his compound in Thousand Oaks. He’s stealing the show.”

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History Rewind
The headlines that mattered yesteryear.
December 19
1984—Britain Agrees to Cede Hong Kong
Great Britain signs over Hong Kong to China in an agreement stipulating that the colony be returned to the Chinese in 1997. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher signs the Joint Sino-British Declaration with her Chinese counterpart Zhao Ziyang, while political groups in Hong Kong push futilely for independence.
December 18
1912—Piltdown Man Discovered
A hominid fossil known as Piltdown Man is found in England's Piltdown Gravel Pit by paleontologist Charles Dawson. The fragments are thought by many experts of the day to be the fossilized remains of a hitherto unknown form of early man, but in 1953 it is discovered to be a hoax composed of a human skeleton and an orangutan's jawbone. The identity of the Piltdown forger remains unknown, but suspects have included Dawson, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Arthur Conan Doyle and others.
December 17
1967—Australian Prime Minister Disappears
The Prime Minister of Australia, Harold Holt, who was best known for expanding Australia's role in the Vietnam War, disappears while swimming at Cheviot Beach near Portsea, Victoria and is presumed drowned.
1969—Project Blue Book Ends
The United States Air Force completes its study of UFOs, stating that sightings are generated as a result of a mild form of mass hysteria, and that individuals who fabricate such reports do so to perpetrate a hoax or seek publicity, or are psychopathological persons, or simply misidentify various conventional objects.
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